niÑos y poder en las familias transnacionales mexicanas

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    dynamic relationship to those of the adults in theirlives (Corsaro, 1997; Wrigley & Dreby, 2005).According to Qvortrup (1999), thenew sociol-ogy of childhood has been relatively divorced

    from traditional, structural approaches to under-standing childrens lives, which emphasize theeconomic and political inequalities childrenexperience in different societies. Primarily, eth-nographic studies of childrens social worldshave not been successful in describing howchildrens power, or lack of power, in their fam-ilies and in other institutions relates to theirfamilies relative position in the society inwhich they live (Wrigley & Dreby). In this arti-cle, I consider the power of children left behind

    in transnational families in relation to their fam-ilies social position as transnational migrants. Iexplore how children in Mexican transnationalfamilies are, on the one hand, the least powerfulactors within their families, but on the otherhand, very influential, both as intended recipi-ents of the benefits their families garner viainternational migration and as independentagents with divergent needs that are intensifiedby the separation from parents.

    A growing body of research on transnational

    families describes some of the ways childrenwho are left behind may be both powerful andpowerless members of their families. For one,as the primary beneficiaries of their parents sac-rifice, childrens needs may influence familiesmigration patterns. Research suggests that at theaggregate level, children with migrant parentsmay have advantages over their nonmigrant peerspresumably owing to the overall economic re-turns of migration. For example, Mexican chil-dren with a U.S. migrant in the family have

    better grades than children in nonmigrant house-holds, which is assumed to be related to anincrease in overall financial resources for families(Kandel & Kao, 2001). Research has also foundchild and infant health in Mexican communitiesto be better among families with U.S. migrants(Frank, 2005; Kanaiaupuni & Donato, 1999).Moreover, although the regularity of remittancesmay vary greatly among families from differentregions and with different postmigration experi-ences, social networks developed during migra-

    tion prove to be a uniformly important source ofsocial capital for Mexican families. Cohen(2004) found that in Oaxaca households thatlack the network ties and the resources necessaryto create more ties through participation are ata severe disadvantage (p. 140). Indeed, Kandel

    and Massey (2002) verified empirically that theintergenerational transmission of migration expe-rience is greatest among families headed bymigrant parents. In the context of widespread

    migration between Mexico and the United States,a culture of migration within families becomesa crucial source of social capital passed fromparents to their children.

    Yet children who are left behind may also be ina relatively powerless position vis-a-vis their pa-rents in terms of migration decisions. In Mexico,young individuals report that they have littleinfluence on their family decision-making pro-cesses, with parents tending to make the mostof the decisions (Esteinou, 2004, p. 25). In terms

    of transnational families, children are often thelast in the link to move abroad, in part becauseof parents concerns about the dangers and costsof childrens migration as well as their desire thatchildren be educated in their home country(Hondagneu-Sotelo, 1994; Levitt, 2001; Massey,Alarcon, Durand, & Gonzalez, 1987). At times,they are sent back home when they misbehavein the United States (Grasmuck & Pessar, 1991;Levitt). In addition, as minors, children cannotreceive parents remittances at banks or money

    transfer agencies directly and therefore may havelittle control over the spending of family resour-ces. Like children of divorce, children in Mexicantransnational families may experience a disjunc-ture between their symbolic role as dependentsand their actual ability to influence the distri-bution of their familys economic resources(Haugen, 2005).

    More importantly, research suggests that chil-dren who are left behind pay the emotional priceof separation from parents over the long run (Lev-

    itt, 2001). Children of migrant men may with-draw emotionally from their fathers; children ofmigrant mothers may feel they lack intimacyand affection and have been abandoned (SalazarParrenas, 2005). When young immigrants are re-united with parents, family members may havea difficult time adjusting to one another after longperiods of separation. The ensuing conflict is par-ticularly distressful for adolescents who mayhave trouble adapting to their parents authorityor communicating with them (Artico, 2003; Men-

    jivar, 2000; Smith, Lalonde, & Johnson, 2004).One study shows that levels of depression arehigher among immigrant children in the UnitedStates who experienced separation prior to migra-tion than those who migrate with their parents(Suarez-Orozco, Todorova, & Louie, 2002).

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    Smith (2006) found that Mexican youth who feltextremely resentful of migrant parents who leftthem behind were often the most violent andaggressive members of Mexican youth gangs.

    Finally, the emotional costs of separation mayaffect childrens educational prospects. Researchin Mexico suggests that although children inmigrant families may do better in school thantheir counterparts, those with migrant parentsdo worse academically than children living withboth their parents, have fewer educational aspira-tions, and are more likely to drop out of school(Gioguli, 2004; Kandel, 1998; Kandel & Kao,2001).

    In summary, existing research suggests that

    children in Mexican transnational families mayreceive certain benefits from migration ascompared to their counterparts in nonmigranthouseholds, in the form of access to migrationnetworks and greater overall economic stability.At the same time, as the least powerful familymembers, children who are left behind appearto be most aversely affected by the long-term con-sequences of separation. Missing is empirical evi-dence as to how these children are activeparticipants in Mexican transnational families.

    Can these powerless children shape their familysfuture?

    To date, research on transnational families hasnot been able to adequately address the ways chil-dren who are left behind participate in transna-tional migration. Most studies that includechildrens perspectives involve interviews witheither adult children or children who have sincebeen reunited with their parents (Artico, 2003;Olwig, 1999; Salazar Parrenas, 2005; Suarez-Orozco et al., 2002). Whereas highly important

    in determining the long-termconsequences of sep-aration,they cannot capture thedynamic ways thatchildren, while they are children, interact withtheir parents and other family members duringperiods of separation. Moreover, although recentsurvey research with children in Mexico suggeststhat parents migration has some adverse implica-tions for childrens schooling (see Gioguli, 2004;Kandel, 1998; Kandel & Kao, 2001), it cannotdescribe the nature of the dynamics within fami-lies that may cause these difficulties.

    Because of its unique research design, thisstudy records the changing relationships betweenmigrant parents, children, and their caregiversover time while they are experiencing separation.I now turn to my data from interviews with 141members of Mexican transnational families that

    illuminate the ways minor children simulta-neously are affected by and influence their fami-lies migration trajectories.

    METHOD

    Data from this paper were collected in what couldbe described as amultisited ethnography (Mar-cus, 1998); it includes research with 44 migrantparents in the United States and with 60 chil-dren of migrant parents and 37 of their care-givers in a number of sites in Mexico. In theUnited States, I interviewed 21 mothers and 23fathers between 2003 and 2004 and conductedparticipant observation with Mexican immi-

    grants in Central New Jersey, in and around thecity of New Brunswick where Mexican immi-gration skyrocketed from 1.3% of the popula-tion in 1990 to 12.6% in 2000 (U.S. CensusBureau, n.d.).

    As I had lived and worked with Mexicans inthe city since 1997, I used personal contacts toidentify transnational parents for interviews. Inaddition, although I am not Latina or Mexican,my 5-year-old sons father is a Mexican immi-grant. Raising a child with one foot in the Mexi-

    can immigrant community often paved the wayfor informal conversations and observationsabout the flexibility and permanence of familieschild-care arrangements. Despite these contacts, Ifound separation to be a sensitive topic for manyfamilies. Interviews often brought up issues ofmarital conflict or other personal problems, suchas alcohol abuse. As such, only four parents al-lowed me to tape-record them. In most cases, Itook detailed notes during interviews or, in somecases, afterward. During semistructured inter-

    views, I asked parents about why they migratedto the United States, the care arrangements fortheir children in Mexico, how often they are intouch with their children and in what ways, howthey feel about living apart, and about their plansfor the future.

    At the time of the interviews, all but three ofthose I interviewed were undocumented. Migrantmothers mostly worked in local fast-food restau-rants and factories; many were periodicallyunemployed because of slowdowns in factory pro-

    duction, or child-care responsibilities. Migrantfathers generally worked in landscaping, con-struction, or private restaurants. The mens edu-cational background in Mexico was mixed; sixhad completed fewer than 6 years of schooling,nine had between 7 and 9 years of schooling,

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    seven had completed high school, and two hadsome college-level training. Prior experience inMexico also varied and included farmers (eight),government administrators (three), a police offi-

    cer, electricians (two), and one accountant. Mostof the mothers were not regularly employed out-side of the home in Mexico. Two mothers werecollege educated. With a few exceptions, the pa-rents I interviewed had migrated from the three-state region of Oaxaca, Guerrero, and Puebla.The mixed socioeconomic status of respondentsis not surprising given Ibarraran and Lubotskys(2005) findings that migrants from areas withlower returns on education (such as Oaxaca) arelikely to be more balanced educationally speaking

    than those from other areas where migrants may beless educated than nonmigrants. At the time of theinterviews, 14 mothers and nine fathers had chil-dren in the United States as well as in Mexico.Most mothers had lived apart from their childrenin Mexico for between 1 and 4 years; most fathershad been away between 5 and 9 years.

    Although in what follows I refer to interviewswith parents, this article hinges on data that werecollected in Mexico where I traveled on a Ful-bright grant between 2004 and 2005. I rely on

    two different samples in Mexico for interviewswith a total of 60 children of U.S. migrants (24preadolescents, 24 adolescents, and 12 youngadults) and 37 of their caregivers, most oftengrandparents.

    First, I elicited an independent sample of chil-dren whose parents worked in the United Statesand their caregivers in a small town of approxi-mately 2,500 residents in the lower Mixtecregion of Oaxaca, which I call San Angel. It isan area of high out-migration. In the early

    1980s, it was estimated that of every 10 Mixte-cans, 3 permanently left the region, 4 were tem-porary migrants, and only 3 stayed in the area(Velasco Ortiz, 1995). Surveys I conducted atthe local middle school found that in 2004, 96%of students had some relatives in the UnitedStates and 65% had members of their nuclearfamily (parents and siblings) abroad. Twenty-eight percent of students had one or both parentsin the United States.

    I used a snowball sample to locate participants.

    As I spent 7 months living in San Angel, I wasable to speak informally with many residentsabout U.S. migration, witness changes in townwhen migrants returned home during the holi-days, and observe aspects of the culture of migra-tion in everyday experiences. I also visited 23

    schools in San Angel and the surrounding regionand interviewed 15 schoolteachers and adminis-trators. In San Angel, I interviewed 11 childrenbetween the ages of 5 and 7, 8 children aged 8

    10, 9 children aged 11 13, 10 children aged14 16, and 9 children age 17 and older.

    Second, I met 12 families of parents I hadalready interviewed in the United States. Fourfamilies lived in San Angel; visiting other fami-lies involved trips to small towns and large citieswithin the three-state region of Oaxaca, Puebla,and Guerrero. Family selection was based in parton logistics and in part on opportunity. I includedin the sample, the four main types of transnationalfamilies I found in interviews with migrant

    parents: (a) father-only migrants (three families),(b) single-mother migrants (three families),(c) married parents in the United States (threefamilies), and (d) divorced or separated parentsin the United States (three families). Notably, infive families, parents and children have sincebeen reunited. Work with these 12 family con-stellations provides a rich source of ethnographicdata on how migration strategies, family relation-ships, and childrens educational outcomeschange over time. Moreover, triangulating the

    perspectives of multiple family members helpsto overcome the limitations of self-reports notedby other family researchers (see Hansen, 2005;Lareau, 2003).

    When interviewing minor children, I useda structured interview schedule. It included ques-tions about why their parents migrated to theUnited States, what they know of their parentslife abroad, if they wanted their parents to leaveand if they want them to return, frequency andcontent of phone contact and monetary remittan-

    ces, how they get along with their substitute care-giver, and their own aspirations, educational andotherwise, for the future. Questions varied some-what according to the age of the child. Interviewswith caregivers were open-ended informal con-versations, which seemed to put the older resi-dents in town most at ease. I asked caregiversabout their relationships with the children as wellas their observations regarding childrens devel-opment, such as school performance, sinceparents departure. As in the United States, inter-

    views were tape-recorded only with children andcaregivers permission. I taped interviews with18 children and no caregivers. I wrote notes onall interviews and relied on detailed notes thatincluded verbatim quotes for interviews I didnot tape.

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    All data collection, including interviews con-ducted with children, received InstitutionalReview Board approval for research with humansubjects. It was conducted in Spanish and was

    translated by the author. Analysis involved thesystematic manual review of notes of conversa-tions and taped interviews for salient themes.Next, I did a more detailed thematic review ofeach interview. Finally, I compared childrens ac-counts related to salient themes with those fromtheir caregivers and parents. In some cases, I con-sulted family members for clarification on spe-cific topics important to the analysis.

    RESULTSUp until this point, I have described children as anambiguous, socially constructed group in opposi-tion to adults. Yet, I found that children of differ-ent ages react in different ways to their parentsmigration. In this section, I describe childrensexperiences during two stages: (a) preadoles-cence and (b) adolescence. Although there issome individual variation, at each stage powerdynamics between children and parents differ.As such, relationships in Mexican transnational

    families are dynamic and constantly in flux. Chil-dren who are left behind must manage separationfrom their parents according to their differentneeds over time.

    Preadolescence

    The 24 preadolescents I interviewed did notdescribe feeling as overtly distressed by parentsmigration as did teenagers. At the same time, fourtypical responses to their parents absences indi-

    cate a level of emotional withholding thataffected the emotional dynamics of the adultsaround them: naming, indifference, disregardfor migrant parents authority, and reluctance tomigrate. In turn, these responses often influencedparents decisions regarding the use of resourcesduring migration.

    Naming. Among the preadolescents I inter-viewed, the naming of caregiversmostlygrandmothersin Mexico as mama or ma-

    mi was common. Yet all of the children Iinterviewedeven at the young age of 5under-stood that they have two mothers and, at times,two fathers, even when they call their grand-mother mom. According to Dona Carmela, her5-year-old grandson Miguel says, I have this

    many mothers [shows two fingers] and this manyfathers [shows two fingers] and this many grand-parents [shows three fingers] because he says hehas his mother there and me, his father there, and

    his father here. And his grandparents are his fa-thers parents and my mother who is still alive.Indeed, none of childrenincluding Miguelgot mixed up in telling me that their mother orfather or both lived in the United States. They re-counted conversations with and showed me pic-tures of their migrant parents, and they oftenpointed out the gifts their migrant parents hadsent them.

    At times, the naming of caregivers as mothersresulted from parents careful instruction.

    Migrant mothers described the sharing of the titleof mother as the price of leaving children behind.They conceded that children call caregiversmom, as they were the ones doing the daily carework. At the same time, mothers felt offendedwhen children did not recognize them as mothersas well. Dona Laura explained that her daughtertold the children to call her mama instead ofabuelita because it was only right becauseshe would be taking care of the children. Butwhen her daughter called home and spoke to

    her son, she would say, Who am I? and the lit-tle boy would answer, My sister Rosa afterwhich she would correct him quickly, No, no,no, I am yourmother.

    Preadolescents naming may appear outwardlyto be simple demonstrations of affection for theirprimary caregivers. Yet, children seem consciousthat they can use names to make their mothers feelbadly. Sandra, a migrant mother of a 9-year-oldgirl told me:

    When I call I ask to speak with my daughter and,although they are not talking to me, I overheara conversation that goes something like this.They say, Come, Raquel, your mom is calling.And she answers, Who? Who wants to talk tome? Your mom. Oh, Sandra [name drawnout] she says before coming to talk to me on thephone.

    According to Dona Belinda, 14-year-old Briannahas always called her mother by her first name. Ican tell that she doesnt really love her . . . My

    daughter gets upset and cries to me over thephone. She says that [Brianna] doesnt loveher. I often sensed an underlying anxiety aroundthe names for most mothers. Ofelia, for example,claimed not to be bothered by her sons affectiontoward her mother but said, You see, he calls my

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    mother, mama. But he knows that I am his motherbecause he says so. Nydia also explained thather 4-year-old son in Mexico calls her mothermom but that He doesnt deny [that I am] his

    mother. He knows that I have my place [in hislife]. Although biological mothers were willingto share the name of mother with their childrensprimary caregiver, when children pointedlyavoided acknowledging their biological parents,mothers felt offended. Naming demarcates theemotional costs of mothers absences.

    Notably, naming marked the emotional toll ofmothers absences but not that of fathers.Although children often said they have two fa-thers, no fathers reported taking offense at their

    childrens naming practices. As Salazar Parrenas(2005) found among children of Filipino mi-grants, a mothers absence has a different mean-ing from that of a father. The use of names asa sign of affection appears to challenge motherscommitment to a maternal identity.

    Feigning indifference. Another way preadoles-cent children expressed the emotional effects ofseparation was by feigning indifference abouttheir biological parents. Although children spoke

    frequently to their migrant parents on the phone,they often communicated an out of sight, out ofmind mentality.

    Many times children acted uninterested whentheir parents called home. According to Nydia,The only thing that makes me feel badly aboutmy son is when he doesnt want to talk to me.Sometimes there is a little bit of distance betweenus and he doesnt want to talk. Nydias son was

    just four at the time of our interview. Lilia caredfor her sisters 9-year-old son after his mother

    migrated. She said that he often refused to talkto his mother on the phone. I didnt want my sis-ter to think that I was telling him not to talk to her.So sometimes I would trick him to get him to talkto her on the phone . . . My sister would cry whenhe didnt want to talk to her.

    Children acted most indifferent when parentscame home to visit (see also Schmalzbauer,2004). Even when children anxiously awaited pa-rents return, once they arrived, childrens behav-ior indicated to parents that migration was not

    without a price. Anabel was only away from herthree children for a year, but when she came backher 5-year-old twins hid from her. They said,since you left, we dont know you anymore.Flor said that her son spread the rumor that hewas not going to accept her and her husband when

    they returned from the United States. He wouldtell his uncles that he wasnt going to love uswhen we came home. Whereas naming wasmost distressing for mothers, fathers also felt dis-

    regarded by childrens indifference. For example,when I interviewed Daniel, whose three U.S.-born children went to live with their grandmotherin Mexico 2 years before, he explained, Theydont remember me. You dont know what thatis. It is hard. They get [me] confused witha brother of mine; they think he is their dad.

    Many families described feelings of discom-fort as temporary. In fact, some researchers havesuggested that this distress upon reunion with pa-rents is typical among young children and is short

    lived (Bowlby, 1973 as cited in Smith et al.,2004). But at age 30, Paulo still recalled theuneasiness he felt when his father returned tovisit. When he returned after a lot of time, well,I felt really uncomfortable, as if he was a stranger,for the very reason that we didnt really havea relationship because I was little when he left.Paulos father left when he was 11 years oldand after just 4 years, when Paulo was 15, hisfather started to visit Mexico annually. Paulo saidthat although he gets along with his father, he still

    felt uncomfortable around him. When Paulo vis-ited with his parents, I watched how he was out-wardly affectionate with his mother yet shiedaway from his fathers company even after hedescribed how important the father figure is tohim during our interview. The indifference thatchildren experience when reunited with theirparents may have long-term consequences forparent-child relationships, a finding supportedby research with adult children separated fromparents as minors (Olwig, 1999; Smith et al.).

    Like Paulo, all the children I interviewed, evenchildren whose parents left them while they werevery young indicated that their parents wereimportant to them. They generally said that theymissed their parents, loved them, or wanted themto come home. Even children who said they didnot love one or both of their parents said theymissed them sometimes just because they werenot around. Thus, when preadolescent childrenact indifferent toward their parents, whether overthe phone or when parents returned to visit, it sug-

    gests not that parents are unimportant to them butrather that they feel their parents had not lived upto their expectations.

    Parental authority deferred.Preadolescent chil-dren almost always defer to their substitute

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    caregivers for permission to do things, an impor-tant pattern as it reverses during the teenageyears. Even upon parents returns, either for tem-porary visits or more permanently, children often

    continue to cede to their substitute caregiversauthority during an adjustment period. Accord-ing to Dona Elvira, for example, when her daugh-ter first came home, her grandson was veryhappy, but it took them a while to adjust to herauthority. At first it was still, grandma this andgrandma that. Not until now are they leavingme a little and going to their mother. When Iasked 11-year-old Deborah whose parents just re-turned from the United States, Who do you askpermission to do things with? she responded, I

    ask my parents for permission only because thatis what my grandmother told me I should do.Moreover, many parents found they could noteffectively give young children permission todo things over the phone. Nydia told me thatwhen she calls her son in Mexico, Maybe if Icorrect him he listens to me and sometimes hedoesnt. But with my parents, no. There is morerespect for them.

    Like feigning indifference, always asking forpermission of the primary caregiver in Mexico

    was something that children did in all four typesof transnational families. When parents or singlemothers were away, children turned to theirgrandparents. In migrant father-only families,children almost always continued to defer to theirmothers even when fathers came home. As fa-thers tend to consider authority in Mexican fam-ilies to be ultimately theirs (see Esteinou, 2004),childrens deference to mothers was often hurtfulfor migrant fathers. According to Gabriela, Thekids always come to me for permission and with

    their problems. My husband has even com-mented to them, Am I not worth anything here?Once he told them, I am going to leave becauseyou dont respect me.

    One day, Gabrielas 10-year-old son, Gilberto,demonstrated the way children overlook migrantparents for permission. When I saw Gilbertohanging around on the street, I asked to interviewhim again about what it was like to have his fa-therAngelohome for a visit. He agreed. I ex-plained that we first had to ask his parents for

    permission.

    We walked down the street together and seeingthat his parents were not at home, Gilberto wentacross the street to his grandmothers place tolook for them. I lagged behind outside but was

    close enough to see Gilberto ask his father, sittingjust inside the door, where his mother was.Learning that she was at a meeting, Gilbertocame back out and said his mother was notaround so we would have to do it later.

    Later that evening, Angelo laughed about theincident and explained that it was a commonoccurrence with all of his four children, espe-cially his 8-year-old son. He is always playingmarbles with his friends on the street. He comesinto the house and walks by me looking for hismother to ask if he can go play. I stop him andsay, Whats this, y yo que? (what aboutme?).

    Whether intentional or subconscious, by over-

    looking their migrant parents and ceding to thecaregivers who raise them, children signal theimportance of the primary caregiver in their lives.Migrant parents may laugh it off, but later shaketheir heads and wonder, as Angelo did, whatabout me? In effect, ignoring parents authorityunderscores the emotional costs of parental ab-sences.

    Refusing to migrate.The preadolescent childrenI met in Mexico often resisted parents efforts to

    reunite with them in the United States. Ofelia,for example, lives in New Jersey and left 10-year-old German with his grandparents in Mexi-co when he was 2 years old to join her husbandalready working in the United States. She re-counted her efforts to send for her son.

    When I call him he asks me to come home. Buthe says he does not want to come here becausehe does not want to leave his mama in Mexico . . .He says, I know you are my mother, but I donot want to leave my mother here. And I dontwant to force him to do something he does notwant to do, though I know there are more oppor-tunities here [U.S.].

    I interviewed Ofelia again a year later, after hav-ing met German and his grandparents in Mexicoand confirming the story. Nothing had changed,except that Ofelia was more distraught whenshe told me, We tell him to come, but he doesnot want to. I have wanted to bring him sincethe first year we were here, but he never wanted

    to. He is resentful that we left him. Although itmay seem strange that migrant parents wouldnot exert authority as parents and send for chil-dren against their will, this is consistent withLewiss (2000) description of minimal interven-tion parenting strategies in a Mixtec community

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    of Oaxaca (see also Esteinou, 2004, p. 18). Itseems that this cultural tendency toward permis-sive parenting affords preadolescent childrengreater influence in decisions than is typical when

    parents and children live together.In response, some parents I met returned to

    Mexico to try to win their children over. Betsy,for example, explained that she had wanted tosend for her 10-year-old daughter Lily, whichwould cost approximately $3,000. Lily, however,said no. I didnt insist because she has to makethe decision herself. Instead, Betsy returned toSan Angel for a 3-month visit where I met and in-terviewed her. This came at significant cost asBetsy had no income during this period, had to

    finance her return home, andif all went asplannedwould pay for the undocumented cross-ing of both herself and her daughter. Similarly,Zelia went back to San Angel for her son, JuanLuis. On the last day of her 3-week visit, 7-year-old Juan Luis decided that he preferred to stay inMexico. Zelia returned to the United States with-out him. When I interviewed her a few monthslater in the United States, she was pregnant and stillsaid she planned to go back for Juan Luis, althoughshe was unsure of how she would financially man-

    age reuniting with her son in the future.In summary, when preadolescent children

    make parents feel badly for being away, parentsmay make significant efforts, involving substan-tial economic resources for low-wage workersin the United States, to make arrangements tosend for their children. In this way, youngchildrens emotional reactions to their parentsabsences often have significant economicrepercussions.

    Adolescence

    Whereas younger childrens responses to theirparents absences subtly remind migrant parentsabout what they are missing, older children growmore outwardly resentful. Fifteen year old Gre-gorio, who has lived with his grandparents hisentire life, told me that his parents absence isharder to deal with than when he was youngerBecause before I didnt feel anything . . . andnow I understand a lot of things. According to

    Dona Belinda, who has raised a total of 10 grand-children at different points, the change occurs atabout age 10. That is when they start to figurethings out, she told me. I always tried to tellmy grandchildren the good things about theirparents, and not talk badly about them. But it

    doesnt matter, because at this age they start ques-tioning things.

    A commonly held belief is that conflictbetween parents and children increases dramati-

    cally during adolescence as a byproduct ofpuberty (Laursen, Coy, & Collins, 1998).Research suggests, however, that although cer-tain sources of conflict may increase, such as fi-nances, other sources of conflict, such as choresor appearance, may actually decrease during ado-lescence (Galambos & Almeida, 1992). I havefound three types of experiences to be salientamong the 24 adolescents I interviewed in Mexi-can transnational families that are distinct fromthose observed among the younger children:

    ambiguous lines of authority, acting out, and dif-ficulties at school. Although these three areas ofconflict may not be all that different from thoseexperienced by Mexican children living withtheir parents, children left behind described theseconflicts as being uniquely shaped by parentalabsence.

    Ambiguous lines of authority.Most adolescents Imet exercised relatively high levels of freedom intheir daily activities while living with substitute

    caregivers. A common pattern in Mexican trans-national families is for caregivers in Mexico to bemore lenient with young children than parents.Dona Eva explained, for example, I have themreally spoiled. Anything they ask for, if I havethe money, they get it. Once children becometeenagers, however, caregivers find it difficultto retain authority over the children. A neighborand friend of Nicandras two teenage childrentold me, [W]hen their grandmother was here,the boys would trick her. Once she was asleep

    they would sneak out. They basically have beendoing their own thing for years. Dona Lilia com-plained that her 10-year-old nephew startedgoing out a lot and would get into trouble. Hewouldnt listen to me. Don Bernando said thatraising his grandchildren was not like raisinghis own children. With my grandchildren it isdifferent. They do what they want. His wife,Dona Fernanda, agreed. I talk to them and they

    just dont listen to me.When teenagers find that caregivers are stricter

    during adolescence, they often turn to theirmigrant parents who are seen to be more lenient.Tina and Brians aunt told me that authority con-flicts occurred because her mother, Dona Silvia,is strict and does not let the 13- and 15-year-oldsgo out. Tina often complained to her father over

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    the phone and he would tell her not to worry, thathe would talk to her grandmother. According tothe aunt:

    Their father is far away and really doesnt knowwhat is going on here. So he can say, be nice tothe kids, let them go out, just so they all getalong. But, he is not here dealing with them.And, if the kids get in trouble, like Brian gettingsome girl pregnant, he will surely blame mymother for not watching over him enough.

    Dona Fernanda also explained, Their motherand father have the last word, not us. These girlsask for permission from them over there and thenthey leave. In effect, teenagers used unclear

    lines of authority between parents and caregiversto their advantage.

    Interviews with parents suggest that separationmakes parents attempt to win their teenagersrespect via friendship rather than parental author-ity. According to migrant Wendy, a widowedmother of three in Mexico, My mother is thestrict voice and I try to be a little bit more compas-sionate and understanding. Salvador told methat when he calls home, his 19- and 17-year-oldssay they want to go to the disco, but that their

    mother will not let them. Later I talk to my wifeabout it and tell her to let them. And migrantfather, Quirino, explained, I try to be my sonsfriend.

    If adolescents exercised flexibility because ofthe ambiguity of authority and migrant parentseagerness to please from a distance, they werenot particularly happy about it. Rather, theydescribed experiences of increased autonomy assomething undesirable that would not have beenpossible if parents were present. Cindy, a 16-year-

    old daughter to a single migrant mother, has beenin trouble for fighting at school and oftendisobeyed her aunt whenshe went out with her boy-friend. She said, For me it is very exceptionalit is something really painful for me that mymother isnt here with me. Cindy described hermothers discipline in a positive light, as some-thing she missed.

    Before when we would come back from school,well, she was here and then after she left, therewas no one here. Before she would scold us and

    hit us and now there is no one around to scold orhit us when we come home from school . . . nowI am alone.

    Yet Cindy was not alone in her experience. WhenI interviewed Tina at age 13 in April, she admitted

    that over the past year, she started hanging outwith the wrong crowd at school. Its just that,you know, I started hanging out with somefriends who have lots of problems, like me.

    She started cutting class and her grades midyearplummeted and she was nearly suspended. WhenI interviewed Tina that past September, she wasquick to answer my question about what madeher miss her migrant parents. I miss my moth-ers affection and of my father, I miss that he cor-rects me.

    Acting out.Time and time again, caregivers andteachers I interviewed described behavioral diffi-culties with children of migrant parents (see Lev-

    itt, 2001). According to Dona Beatriz, mother to12, 7 of whom lived with her when her husbandwent to work in the United States for 2 years,Everything was destroyed [after he left]. Every-one was sad and didnt eat well anymore. Some ofthem were insolent and rude to me. I think thatthey lacked a paternal figure. Dona Fatima ex-plained that when she went to the United Statesfor 3 years, she left two sons in San Angel. Theyounger boy studied and even went on to highschool, but her 14-year-old son dropped out of

    middle school. He would go and drink and theywould tell me that they found him drunk hangingout on the hill all the time . . . then he went to livewith his girlfriends parents. He got her preg-nant. To this day, the young man lives withhis in-laws and is known to be a drunk.

    Nicandras 16-year-old son, Miguel, articu-lated the unique feelings of abandonment whenchildren misbehave while parents work abroad.Although Nicandra did not describe Miguel hav-ing problems when she migrated, he was left back

    twice and dropped out at age 14. Miguel attrib-uted most of his personal failures to his mothersmigration. For example, Miguel told me hestarted to smoke at the age of 12 when his motherleft, although he has more recently beaten thehabit. I felt desperate because I lived alone withmy grandmother, only, and my brother. And Istarted the habit because, many times, you knowit chills you out, it calms your nerves, and allthat. Miguel joined a neighborhood gang andwas involved in simple assaults, though he was

    never caught. To me it didnt matter. Not havingmy mother, I felt strange. I felt like what did itmatter. If I saw a person staring at me it was like,what do you want? I would look for a fight.Miguel said he was different when his motherreturned to visit. I dropped all of this when she

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    [mom] came back. She came back and I stopped.Having her, I dont feel like smoking or doingthings that I am not supposed to do.

    Another mark of misbehavior families

    described was older siblings abusing youngersiblings. When 17-year-old Angelas mother

    joined her father in the United States, she movedinto her grandparents house and became respon-sible for washing her 11- and 13-year-old sib-lings clothes, cleaning the house, and washingthe dishes. Her grandparents complained that An-gela often took out her frustration on her siblings,hitting them inappropriately. Faviola, aunt to 11-year-old Eric, 8-year-old Edwin, and 7-year-oldOrlando described a similar dynamic among the

    three siblings since their mother left for theUnited States, a year earlier.

    You know, the oldest one feels very responsiblefor the other two. It is as if he takes on the role ofthe father. He hits his brothers . . . The other day,oh how it made me want to cry . . . I heard someshouts from their room and I went to see whatthey were doing. The little one [Orlando] was onthe floor, doubled over and holding his stomach.The middle one [Edwin] was crying that his olderbrother [Eric] was beating up the little one. ButOrlando was crying because he said his olderbrother said, Ive had enough of you. The old-er one [Eric] came and said that it is just thatIve had enough of everything me and me all ofthe time. I love my brother a lot, but I get tired.

    Children of migrant parents may act out for sev-eral reasons. Unlike children living with their pa-rents, however, children in transnational familiesmay feel that no one cares about what they aredoing. Although most had concerned caregiversand parents, during adolescence, children of

    U.S. migrants wanted to feel accountable to theirparents and felt that physical separation pre-vented this. In addition, children of migrant pa-rents may feel increased responsibilityforthemselves and their younger siblingsaftertheir parents leave. Some teenagers took out thepressure of this increased responsibility by actingaggressively.

    School performance. Aside from behavioralproblems, a more widespread difficulty families

    reported was in-school performance. Forty-onepercent of children over age 14 I intervieweddropped out of school in the middle of their stud-ies, and 27% of those over age 7 had been leftback in school at least once. Some had been leftback multiple times. Although comparison fig-

    ures with local children without migrant parentsare not available, this finding is supported byother research in Mexico that describes childrenof migrant parents, particularly boys, as having

    a greater propensity to drop out of school thanchildren of nonmigrants (Gioguli, 2004; Kandel& Kao, 2001). Moreover, this pattern of problemscontradicts the expectations of most parents whooften echoed Angelo who told me, My idea isnot to live here [U.S.]. It has always been to havea better life there [Mexico]. It doesnt matter tome that I sacrifice the presentI want my chil-dren to have a career in Mexico. Given their pa-rents expectations, why do children left behindhave such trouble in school?

    Interviews suggest that there are four reasonsthat children of migrant parents have difficultiesin school. First, many children, at all age levels,experienced low levels of depression after theirparents departures. Brian, in the 10th grade, ex-plained that when his mother left while he was in7th grade, he did not feel like studying muchbecause he missed her. It lasted about three,no, I think two months. For some, the effectsof depression on schooling were temporary, yetfor most of the teenagers I interviewed, a drop

    in performance after a parents departure hadlong-term ramifications. Seventeen-year-oldRoberto, who described himself as a very sensi-tive person, told me he felt sad when he was 12and his father left for the United States. A yearlater, he dropped out of middle school. I asked,What happened? Did you want to go to theU.S. with your father? No, he answered. Imissed him. I didnt want to go to the U.S., butI simply didnt feel like studying anymore.After 2 years, Robertos father came home. Rob-

    erto went back to school, graduated and, when Imet him, was in his first year of high school. Afew months later, Roberto dropped out of schoolagain. Cynthia also dropped out of school for noapparent reason, much to her migrant fatherschagrin, despite claiming to me that the workwas not hard and that she did well in school. Inthese cases and others, depression expressed asapathy at school led to a permanent end to theirschooling.

    Second, when teenagers misbehave, it may

    directly affect their school performance. School-teachers I interviewed often complained ofbehavioral problems among children of U.S. mi-grants. When asked how migration affected theirschools, the most frequent response was disci-pline. School employees used words such as

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    aggressive, lacking discipline, and uncon-trollable and, only when pressed, would cite ex-amples of good students who did not fit thisprofile. One school director was exasperated in

    describing the 15-year-old daughter of migrants.

    She doesnt have a stable place to live, and keepsmoving back and forth between different rela-tives. I dont know what to do with her. I needa social worker to deal with her. They took awaymy social worker 6 years ago and I havent got-ten one since.

    Although this school of over 400 enrolled stu-dents is legally mandated to have a social worker,many of the small schools I visited, where more

    than onein four students had parents in the UnitedStates, were not. Schools in rural Oaxaca arefaced with changing demographics among theirstudent body without the funding, training, andother resources to deal with the emotional wakeof separation. Teenage children of migrant pa-rents take their resentment to school. Teachersonly recourse for their disruptive behavior is tosend them home again.

    Third, some students described being uncom-fortable at school because of peer pressure. When

    Dalias husband, Zalatiel, was away, she said hereldest son had trouble with peers at school. Theoldest boy said his classmates would tell him thathe had no dad, that that was why he never went tothe school meetings. When he would come homefrom school, he would be sad and I would tell himno and say that he did have his father and wewould spend the afternoon and evening lookingat the pictures of [Zalatiel]. Anabel also said thatit was hard for her twins, Fernando and Jacinto,their first year of Middle School.

    They didnt want to study anymore and I felt bad.They would say that they felt bad because theydidnt have their father and I would say that theyshouldnt worry because I was going to supportthem always and they shouldnt worry about it . . .After I would talk to them, they would put moreeffort into it, but only for a bit.

    Her son, 16-year-old Fernando, told me that nowthat he is working, his friends are different. Inschool the other kids teased me because my dad

    was gone. Now, if my friends ask me about itand I say I dont talk to my dad, they say, I amsorry for asking. They just drop it.

    Finally, the most common sentiment ex-pressed by children of migrant parents was thelack of academic support from caregivers in Mex-

    ico. Mostly, this is because the majority of care-givers are grandparents with very low levels ofeducation who are uncomfortable with the schoolsystem. Many grandparents do not read and write

    well so they are not able to monitor childrenswork. Of the 37 caregivers I interviewed,42%all grandparentscould not read or writewell enough to help their grandchildren withhomework. Indeed, the illiteracy rate for elderlyMexicans in rural areas is quite high at 44% forrural men age 65 and older and 63% for ruralwomen age 65 and older in 1990 (Ham-Chande,1995, p. 35).

    Children of migrant parents rarely felt thatcaregivers in Mexico were invested in their aca-

    demic progress. Teachers told me that studentssign off for their grandparents on homework thatis incomplete and incorrect. Brian, at age 15, toldme he lacked academic support since his motherleft. You see at school parents are supposed tosign off on our forms. And my grandmother isoften too tired to go. My uncle is supposed todo it, but he is never available. So, I sign the pa-pers myself. I asked who Brian goes to whenhe does not understand his work. Nobody. Iunderstand it on my own. Or I study the books.

    Grandparents may not be interested in theirgrandchildrens education because they hadmade it without school. A first grade teacher com-plained that three of his students live with grand-parents.

    And these guys are of a different generation.They are grandparents who do not know how toread or write. They have a dogmatic character,which is very difficult to deal with . . . They areclosed minded, like they dont want to acceptnew options. They will say, It is that, teacher, I

    did not go to school. . . . They dont want toaccept new things.

    Furthermore, schools in Oaxaca expect pa-rents, or substitute caregivers, to be highlyinvolved in childrens schooling (Orden JurdicoNacional, n.d.). The rural schools I visited orga-nized mandatory parent-teacher meetings, imple-mented compulsory parental review ofhomework, and required parents financial andvolunteer support of school events. As schools

    are organized around parental involvement, thelack of interest or involvement of caregivers inchildrens education is something that children,such as Dalias son whose friends teased himbecause his father did not go to parent-teachermeetings, notice. For example, 14-year-old

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    Yet it would be a mistake to infer that childrenleft behind are consequently powerless in theirfamilies. To the contrary, I find that their negativereactions to separation ultimately shape families

    migration trajectories when parents make subse-quent migratory decisions grounded in theirchildrens responses to separation. Over time, pa-rents are often responsive to their childrenschanging needs. They plan trips home to con-vince their children to migrate at significantexpense, they spend money on childrens educa-tion, despite the difficulties children have inschool, and they often return home to deal withteenagers behavioral difficulties. Geographicseparation often may make it difficult for parents

    to respond to their childrens needs adequately,leading children to feel that their expectationsof parents are unmet (see also Smith, 2006). Asa result, childrens ability to influence their pa-rents decisions regarding migration is magni-fied. Children left behind are better able toshape families migration patterns after parentsleave than they were prior to their departure. Ex-periences during periods of separation increasechildrens power vis-a-vis their parents.

    Findings also show that children of different

    ages express feelings of powerlessness and man-ifest agency in shaping families migration trajec-tories in different ways. Preadolescent childrenexpress disappointment at parental absencethrough displays of emotional withholding.These displays affect the emotions of the adultsaround them, what some scholars describe asa process of emotional transmission (see Larson& Almeida, 1999) which, in turn, leads parentsto allocate significant resources toward reunifica-tion. Although some young children may join pa-

    rents in the United States, many others pressureparents to return to Mexico, preferring to remainseparated from their parents than to migrate.

    Adolescent children, in contrast, express dis-tress at parental absence when they act eitherindependently or aggressively, to their siblingsor others, or both, both at home and at school,causing parents to redistribute families resourcesto their children by paying for schooling, therapy,and so on. Moreover, as teenagers mature, theirresentment fades and they begin to consider

    employment, they find that prospects are betterin the United States than in Mexico. Unlike prea-dolescents who often refuse parents migrationoffers, many older children pressure migrant pa-rents to finance their migration. Notably, childrenexperience an increase in their ability to access

    families resources over time. Younger childreninfluence their parents migration decisions indi-rectly by affecting adults emotions, whereasadolescents difficulties and migration aspira-

    tions often demand parental resources moredirectly, particularly as they grow older andmay pressure their parents to migrate to takeadvantage of parents social capital in order tomake the undocumented crossing into the UnitedStates. In other words, as children left behind age,they are able to make more direct claims to theirparents limited resources.

    This study is limited in assessing the extent ofchildrens power in their families, and the hard-ship they experience, as compared to children in

    nonmigrant families. Yet this article does suggestthat experiences of separation are linked to child-rens ability to manifest power in their familiesand to shape families subsequent migration tra-

    jectories. Childrens experiences of power withintheir families should thus be incorporated infuture comparative research on this topic. Find-ings also suggest that future research on parentsability to translate migration into intergenera-tional mobility must be sensitive to childrenschanging needs over time, particularly during pe-

    riods of separation or at the time of reunification,or both.

    CONCLUSION

    In the end, in line with research that considerschildren as active agents in their lives (see Cor-saro, 1997), I have shown that children leftbehind do have some power in shaping their fam-ilies migration trajectories. Childrens experien-ces of hardship may translate into some leverage

    in influencing families distribution of resourcesand migration decisions over time as parents aregenerally responsive to their changing needs dur-ing periods of separation. Moreover, as childrenleft behind grow, so too does their relative powerin their families.

    The experiences of children in Mexican trans-national families suggest that children can expe-rience power vis-a-vis the parents in their liveswhile they simultaneously are disadvantaged asdependents within their families and also because

    of their families socioeconomic status. As such,policies aimed to ameliorate the hardships chil-dren experience because of migration must incor-porate the ways children actively participate intheir families in order to be successful. Sensitivityto the complexity of childrens lives at different

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    ages is also paramount. Finally, findings suggestthat scholarship cannot overlook the ways chil-dren, while they are children, may influence thedecisions of the adults in their lives.

    NOTE

    This and related research was funded by a Fulbright /Garcia-Robles Grant and the Carole and Morton Olshan DissertationFellowship at the Graduate Center of the City University ofNew York. I would like to thank Julia Wrigley and the anon-ymous reviewers at the Journal of Marriage and Family fortheir helpful comments on this manuscript. I am indebted tothe Mexican children who generously shared their often dif-ficult experiences and feelings with me.

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